


What's Crackin'?

by Roll_Away_Brain



Category: Transformers (Bay Movies), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, First Meetings, Jazz lacks self control, Jazz lives, Light Angst, M/M, Or at least control of his mouth, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Prowl is seriously confused, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, just a touch though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:13:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25384357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roll_Away_Brain/pseuds/Roll_Away_Brain
Summary: Excuse me?Could be either a Call or Response. An approach or interruption. An invitation to engage, or a request for clarification.Or, and this was the most likely case in his own opinion, the appropriately outraged reaction to something terribly offensive that he’s just said without bothering to run the words through his processors on their way to the tip of his glossa.
Relationships: Jazz/Prowl
Comments: 23
Kudos: 128





	What's Crackin'?

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this [this post on Tumblr](https://roll-away-brain.tumblr.com/post/623575470299136000). May I present, the soulmate AU that I never thought I'd write.  
> 

_Excuse me?_

Two simple words, not really a whole lot to go off of. An action and an identifier. At least the glyphs clearly marked it as a question, a call to attention. Some poor souls didn't even get that.

And that point having come to mind, his Calling could be a whole lot worse. It could have been hello. 

The Calling, a way to identify the other half of your spark was a blessing Primus had bestowed on his creations; emerging from the Well to inscribe it on a mech’s spark chamber as their spark was settled into their final frame. But having the first phrase some mech or femme said to you once you were both in your final frames be the key that determined whether that person was your soulmate or not…. a double edged blade in Jazz’s opinion. He could understand the practicality of it; first meetings only happened once, and it almost always meant that you were paying attention. It allowed for preparation, you could come up with a phrase, something unique to you that could easily be recognized. 

There were even sometimes clues as to who your mate was in the Calling itself, based on the traditions of where they were from. Many from Tyger Pax made short riddles, while Vosians were simultaneously vain and practical, listing their pedigree going back at least three generations on their carrier's side. Military mecha, at least before the war, would give the name of their current cohort in addition to their own designation and then a codeword. Iacon was filled with hopeless romantics who would come up with phrases about what they hoped for in life with their soulmate, rhapsodic to the point that they might as well just call it poetry. 

First impressions could be literally everything, so of course one would do their best to make it unmistakable. One of a kind, unforgettable. Though of course, not all first meetings go to plan. Which, Jazz predicted, was the category most likely to include his own.

He’d had some false positives, of course. With glyphs as common as the ones etched across his spark casing were, it was bound to happen. Each time he heard them, the tone lilting up at the end of the phrase making it into a question, it threw his spark into a near gallop. But no matter what he had said before or after those words there was never any recognition in the other party. No optics brightening in ecstatic confirmation, no joyed whisper declaring he had been found.

_Excuse me?_

Could be either a Call or Response. An approach or interruption. An invitation to engage, or a request for clarification.

Or, and this was the most likely case in his own opinion, the appropriately outraged reaction to something terribly offensive that he’s just said without bothering to run the words through his processors on their way to the tip of his glossa. Considering how much time he was spending undercover behind enemy lines, where the language was casually crass and rubbing off on him in some unfortunate ways, he wouldn’t be surprised. 

Although, at this stage in the war, he would be even less surprised if he had joined the ranks of those unlucky mecha who would never hear their Calling. Those who would have to wait until the other side of the Well to find their other half.

Looking at this suicide mission of a hunt for the Allspark? 

Well. 

It was looking like he wouldn’t have to worry about first meetings much longer.

\------

Jazz shifted his weight from one leg to the other, trying to put a little bit more leverage into his stretch. Ratchet would probably rip him a new exhaust port for straining his repairs if he saw it, but there was this one set of struts that was sitting just out of alignment, and if he could only twist just a little further…. _there_.

He heard a dull, reverberating twang as the strut popped back into place on his spinal array, and a gust of air rushing from his vents at the sudden relief. 

"You must have a death wish." 

The saboteur let his helm roll back on his shoulder to look over at Sideswipe, an easy grin on his face. 

"Mmm, no more than usual, mah mech. An' besides, you don't tell the Hatchet that I'm stretchin' mah welds, an I won't tell 'im bout how much you _don't_ pressure wash your joints on the regs." 

The swordsmech froze for a second, clearly unaware of the fact that anyone knew he had been disregarding the medic’s mandate for those staying on earth. Then with an air of exaggerated cheerfulness, he planted his fists on his hips.

"Well! Today is a _lovely_ day to land on this particular mud ball of a planet! Nothing quite like it! No clouds in the sky, the sun is starting to come up, the humidity is low, and look! Even Mirage is out and about!"

"Hopefully this means he's finally gettin' ova the whole 'fresh paint, protect at all costs' phase." Jazz nodded, watching the once again blue and white mech move to stand next to Optimus, Ironhide and Ratchet. The former towers mech wasn't vain per say, but the luxury of a full frame repaint, not just a chromeo nanite reprogram was a jealously guarded luxury. "An jus' in time, really. Don't think I could take him an' ya twin both doin' it." 

Substreaker was part of the group that would be coming down from the Ark to make contact with Prime's team here on Earth, before heading back to Cybertron to see if the planet had recovered any in their absence. While most of the crew would be staying on board, some of them were coming down to remain planet side to round out the team currently assembled, and a few others just coming down to strategize before returning to and departing on the Ark. In preparation, the incoming team had already been sent a briefing on the current situation, as well as a data packet containing language codexes for those most commonly used at the Diego Garcia base. 

Sideswipe smiled down at the smaller silver mech as his frame relaxed into a contented lean. "He's close enough that I can hear him again. Sunny's already bitching about how bad he needs a shower and a polish." 

The lieutenant laughed. "Well, once he's got an earth-alt, he's more'n welcome to visit the racks." 

"Ugh. He's going to take _forever_ to pick. He'll be looking for days. We had to delay the upgrade to our final frames because he was indecisive. Twice." 

As the twin whined half-heartedly about his sibling, a comm from Optimus let them know that the incoming team had checked in. The small scout pod had entered the Earth's atmosphere and would be making landfall in less than five minutes, so they should start heading towards the landing area. It was more a courtesy call for Jazz than any real need for him to be somewhere promptly. Even after a few years locked down in medical stasis and having fragging near half of his frame repaired or replaced, his recovery was slow going and had limited him to root mode for now. 

"Anyone else ya looking forward ta seein' that's comin' down?" He asked as they began walking. He himself knew most of the roster personally, the rest of them in at least a professional capacity. 

Sideswipe tilted his head thoughtfully, before offering "Hound, haven't seen him in ages, he's always up for getting off base. Trailbreaker. Cliffjumper, for sure. Definitely glad Prowl is not staying. He'd have fifty new regs in place by the end of the week." 

"The mech can't be all _tha_ bad?" Jazz queried. It earned him a look as if he'd said that he would be painting himself pink. 

"You would know better than I do, Jazz, you worked with him. Ya know, the whole Second and Third in command of the whole army thing?" 

"I guess tha's a fair 'sumption. But ya forgettin' a couple a things." He raised a hand between them to start counting off his fingers. "I was only promoted ta Third a couple'a vorns before we left Cybertron, an mosta tha' time I was running the base at Tyger Pax. An' even before that while I was jus' commander of Ops, I spent more time behind enemy lines than ours. Mosta mine and his communication was through reports, or over comms for meetin's. Not a whole lotta room for personality ta come through, there. I never actually met 'im face ta face." 

Jazz did of course have a dossier on the mech, but those only went so far when he’d not observed the target himself. Not that Prowl had ever given him cause to actually regard him as a target, but in his line of work, both of theirs actually, it never hurt to have contingencies in place. 

Really? Not even once?" 

"Nah mech. Not exactly a smart idea ta have all yer top brass in one spot, ya dig?" 

"Makes sense, I guess. One well placed bomb and we'd all be kissing 'Con aft for the rest of our lives." There was a short, contemplative silence as they watched the small shuttle finally make touchdown. They were still a fair distance behind Optimus, Ironhide, Ratchet and Mirage who were gathering next to the exit ramp of the ship as it lowered. A few of the humans from the base including Lennox and Epps had driven over as well in a pickup truck, although they ended up just moving to stand in the bed of the truck, rather than stay on the ground. “Most, myself included, would describe him as being a perpetual stick in the slag. Uptight and all knowing; you can’t get anything past him. He’s fair though, and ridiculously smart, brilliant at what he does. Ran circles around me when it came to planning pranks. I swear he let me keep trying just because it amused him.” 

The two silver mechs watched as a tall, black and white Praxian came down the ramp, followed by those he’d come planetside with. He stopped in front of the Prime and gave a crisp salute that Jazz thought was definitely unnecessary, given his rank. 

“Let me guess, a real formal type?” Jazz asked, which got him a snort from Sideswipe. 

“To a fault. Mech spent so much time by himself in his office, I don’t think he knows what a high five even is.” 

Jazz shook his helm as they finally got close enough to hear the conversation. Jazz knew from past comm calls the mech had a nice enough voice, and it lent itself well to using the english language. Jazz figured Prowl was doing it to be polite, making sure the humans nearby weren’t excluded from the conversation. He was introducing the crew he had with him, making sure to use each of their ranks and fields of specialty. Huh, so this must be where Optimus had gotten that habit from. 

Speaking of introductions made by Optimus… He’d no doubt catch some serious flack for this later, but it would be _so worth it_. 

For a second Jazz allowed a slag eating grin to overtake his faceplates as he reached over and tapped the back of his hand against Sideswipe’s arm. 

::Watch this.:: he sent in a tight comm as he schooled his expression and began to move into the circle of officers properly. He stood to the left of Optimus and right of Ironhide so that he was opposite the newcomer, and waited silently as the last crew member was introduced to the Prime. 

“Thank you, Prowl. I won’t take up your time re-introducing you to your fellow officers, although if memory serves you never actually got to meet with our Third in Command, Jazz?” 

“No we did not, Prime.” Prowl replied, before turning to face Jazz completely. Just as the mech was opening his mouth again to say something, the grin was back and Jazz interrupted- 

“What’s crackin’, little bitches?” 

There were multiple snorts of laughter from the surrounding audience, and he heard Epps break into unrestrained guffaws. He heard a groan from what was definitely Ratchet’s vocalizer, and in his peripheral he saw Optimus steeple the fingers of one servo against his helm, but Jazz kept his optics firmly on Prowl as he waited for what should definitely be an entertaining reaction. 

And oh, the mech hadn't even replied yet, but it _was_. 

The mech’s jaw had dropped immediately, then worked silently a few times. His wings had flared on his back to a high v, giving flustered little flaps.  
Prowl's expression didn't display any offence or indignation, but looked to be one of absolute shock. So much so apparently, he slipped back into Neo Cybex as he replied, 

“Excuse me?” 

_Oh frag_. 

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter, Prowl! And an actual conclusion!
> 
> I take LIBERTIES with so much of this. I stopped watching the bayverse movies at Dark of the Moon, and so I reject their reality and substitute my own. Sure, I guess ROTF happened, minus Mudflap and Skids. The Mecha who were on earth for DOTM? Yep, they're there. But the events of that film totally didn't happen here because A: you're not allowed to kill Ironhide ever, and B: I needed the Ark to be…. not crashed. In my head this totally happened instead of DOTM.
> 
> The other thing I take liberties with? How this soulmate AU works. Hopefully between the two chapters it all makes sense, but I had to make some super specific 'rules' to make this work in my own mind. There's two rules that are left that are going to be discussed in the second chapter, so if it doesn't make sense now hopefully it does later.


End file.
